Chapter 8: Pussy Power

I'm super worried about my cats. like I didn't think about them being given away this whole process. I wasn't scared of anything accept where they are going to go. I guess I tried to keep myself preoccupy my time with getting rid of old clothes and washing everything and packing. I still have to clean my makeup brushes and organize all my art supplies.It stresses me out honestly. I fell in love with these cats and they have been the biggest blessing I've received so far. and now they might not go with a family that i trust they'll probably have to go to some people that I don't know and I'll never be able to see them again or visit them or anything they'll just be a memory gone in the wind.I thought everything would just fall into place. I'm not ready to let them go. I feel like a mom leaving her kids. I bonded with those weird little monsters I can't just leave them. but when you love something you are supposed to let it go, but its really hard.


 i know they'll be living a better life and I should  be happy that they'll be happy. I have to return library books and finalize when I leave with my stupid dad.  mean he's okay I'm just going to spend the entire ride to Irvine being interrogated about my mom 
and I really hate that because he puts me in a bad head space.he always turns her into a villain when we talk to each other and all I want to do is fix our own estranged relationship. His relationship with me doesn't have anything to do with my mom. my mom hardly ever talks about him,so why should I have to listen to him complain. they have been broken up for like three years, so I really don't care which parent is better. he's been doing that for years and I am really gullible so I believe like everything and then it just fucks up the relationship I have built with my mom. I don't know whats going to happen to be honest the only good part about this is that I have a job lined up already but i'm probably going to go to community college before I transfer to UC Irvine.  today isn't the best on the worrying front, but I got a lot done. I donated like three bags of clothes and I mailed out some makeup samples to friends and family. There's still so much that needs to be done before everything is finalized.