I have the strongest urge to shop but I' don't know what I want to dress like at the moment and i'm still trying to save money until I get paid again. There aren't any good places to shop accept for the good will and I cant afford to go to the Glendale Galeria.I've been really worried about setting up finances and setting up a bank account and getting a credit card for work. sometimes i feel like it wont happen because i have the habit of spending my money on stupid crap. Life seems to be getting less fun the older I get. It's stressful and uncomfortable, nothing seems to fall into place and I have to do everything myself because it's hard enough for my mom to support all of us without having to shell out money so i can start having a financial history. I was supposed to go out to riverside this week but i really don't want to. i'm just going to be stuck with religious relatives that are going to make a big deal about me piercing my nose and cutting off all my hair.Everyday feels like a mini war. I seem to continually have small identity crisis on a daily basis because i'm going through this weird find yourself period but all i seem to find in myself are bits and pieces of other people's stories. I don't feel like my story is 100% mine at all, I guess that comes from years of internalizing other people's shit.

my fucking bathroom got flooded so now the sink is pretty much unusable and I don't know if my toothbrush is olkay so That's how my life went. the longer I stay awake the more i realize that unless I have real work to do or something going on in my life i'm just lonely and horny and sad. I logged into my tumblr again and it felt like i had been away for years, it was nice. this is pretty much just a whole page of me rambling about nonsense and bullshit then i'm going to post it and three seconds after the same 1 person is going to like my post.I'm really fucking tired of Charlie Hunnam's face always showing up in my life though it's fucking everywhere and it just continues to remind me of punk ass goat man and then i just want to crawl into a hole and die.,
anywAaaaay...goodnight you guys,,,
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