Young Black and Uncomfortable.

     
So like I'm watching this "Dear Fat People." shit because it's been showing up on my tumblr and I feel like I am basically watching a poor man's Jenna Marbles. She doesn't deserve all the attention that it's getting because she's a bit of a garbage can. "fat shaming isn't a thing." like transformers "there is more than meets the eye." with a situation such as Weight, and fat shaming. what was the point of this video being made? this isn't stopping obesity, this isn't promoting the habits that should be adopted instead this isn't a health channel, she's not a YouTube yoga/ fitness guru. she's just some mildly funny chick biting off the same Jenna Marble's shtick in order to get likes. People are always going to be different, that is why society hasn't crumbled because we are all built in a way that'd benefit future generations. even in the animal world there are variants in colors, shapes, sizes and abilities why is it that we expect to be the same?

    What right do we have to question nature?. we have to look the same as everyone else, but we also have to "be the innovator, the originator." yada yada yada it makes no fucking sense. Why is it that a species that cultivated the earth and ran civilizations cant get over the fact that there are different types in the species. Humans were not meant to be homogenous (having the same gene/characteristics) in appearance. Not once have I seen a dog not bark at another dog because that dog was too fat. in that dogs mind all he sees is a dog. the other dog is obviously different but its still a dog. so if someone is a fat person, or Overweight, or Pudgy or so have you why do they not get recognized as being a person. we have come up with so many ways to push other people away to alienate those of our species. What good does that do? its basically civil war. if you want to make a video shaming someone there should be a video made about shaming the food industry for hyper sexualizing gluttonous activities and shoving different Burger, Pizza, and Candy companies down our throat. blame media for not promoting healthy lifestyles until then 2010's or continuing to perpetuate standards of beauty which are almost obsolete and destructive to the collective psyche. promoting thin almost mal nourished male and female models to be objectified and praised as what beauty should be. but in reality the beauty should be practical fro the species to survive. muscular people, curvy people, thicker people. people who could defend themselves physically as the beauty standard. we seem to peer into other people's lives instead of minding our own business. instead of worrying about what fat people are doing with their diets maybe like start knitting, adopt a pet, learn a new language.
          
            Better yourself. and that goes for anyone who puts people down. anyone with a bully/mean girl mentality that is old enough to have a 40 hr a week , or 9-5 job should just worry about themselves. there is no problem with fat people. there is a problem with a-holes body-policing someone just because they were inconvenienced by the fat aesthetic.  there is so much to be done in the ways of body acceptance because even though different looking people have been around since time it's self humans cant seem to grasp that concept like babies with a lack of object permanencehttps://youtu.be/CXFgNhyP4-A
so watch the video think about it, comment. if you agree...eh. if you disagree also eh... as long as you follow comment or subscribe.
                                                 

Chapter 19:Garbage Pig People From Outer Space

Do you ever feel like your mood is going to ruin the rest of your day? Like this seething bubble of hatred is making it impossible to smile in people's faces and pretend that you care about their needs meanwhile you are basically a pimple on the ass of their day because the Customer is always right.customer service is kind of a drag because you get to see people's true nature. some people are kind and polite and gentle little cinnamon buns and the rest are garbage pig people. they leave trash everywhere, they make you feel stupid if you don't do things their way, men while expecting you to smile and nod like some sort of Android.   But other than that I'm just really happy having a job even though I want to move away still and live on my college campus but I can just take some classes and just commute. I really don't want to but i always end up getting into an argument with my mom about how I supposedly think that I am better than everyone else because I don't like taking the bus. when the real problem is I have no sense of direction and I would feel safer and more comfortable driving. I feel like my mom keeps making excuses to not let me move forward like this giant anchor holding down a ship. she wont show me how to drive, she makes excuses, she gets defensive when I talk about moving out. it's super fucking difficult.

 I went to this school in Santa Monica for a tour and I want to move out there and go to school out there and it would make my life so much easier, but I still have to take into consideration the cost of living, getting a job out there, dealing with my current job, paying for school getting a car ect ect ect. it just piles up and I get no fucking help i just get my ideas criticized. And on top of that I have been talking to this guy on base in North Carolina and he keeps bringing up me going out there to visit him and i caved and told him I would but I would have to calculate air fare cost of a room and all this other stuff that my skinny black ass cant afford, and I don't have any time off from my job because I don't have any seniority I tried to bring up him coming to see me instead but he had a shit ton of excuses. so basically I don't see this heading anywhere but I like him and I like talking to him but at the same time it;s super fucking inconvenient for me. I have all of these options to escape and none of he funds or the time to do it. This job is stealing my soul. I'm so mad Because he is like everything i had ever wanted in a guy. He's tall and goofy and he likes breakfast foods and he can cook. he talks shit and gets on my nerves he's just so fucking great.He's sweet, kind, honest, and he works super hard. he's a lot less aggressive than I am but then again who isn't? he's like Captain American to my Tony Stark.
And I cant go see him or touch him or do the sexy because he's in Fucking North Carolina and I'm stuck in the meth capital of Southern California bagging groceries for garbage pig people. It's like I have so many escape routes and options that i am over whelmed so i will end up stuck in the physical equivalent of purgatory until the day I die because I didn't take any risks and I played it safe like a little bitch.I try to stay positive I try to say to myself "Jade, by the end of this year it'll be totally different you can quit this job and go to school and sort everything out, and once you're in school you can visit captain america on your vacations and touch his cute little butt and kiss his face all you want just hold out 'til the end of the year." I still feel like a late bloomer. Like i'll be thirty by the time i graduate College and i will be behind on my life plan to be a kick ass graphic designer/ comic book author/ author and I will live in Hawaii and raise tiny fat baby tea cup pigs and on a little plot of land with my cute sexy hot live in boyfriend and everything will go according to plan.  and maybe some puppies too.