Btw

I finished the bee and puppycat collage

Awards?

Today I won an actual award. Needless to say my petty behind was still jealous of the golden & silver tassel winners but I still got a certificate for Superior creative writing.  That's pretty awesome.  Life is starting to improve more and more each day.  Sometimes I don't even know why I miss my other friends.  I feel like they were just there for the good part like shadows they only seemed to be around for the sunshine. But my trusty Goat Man was there for me as always. He's probably the best thing that could happen to me. And this time I'm not getting the calm before the storm feeling.  I mean I do still have my issues with anxiety and feeling like I'm going to fuck up or he's going to get tired of the mess that is Jade. But he's still here for me and I hope he stays for many more events.  Tomorrow is the last day to get in some assignments so I'm going to be working on stuff In the morning and probably having to type stuff at lunch.  It's edging closer and closer to the end and it seems like it's dragging on. I am definitely improving from the person I was when Goat Man and I started seeing each other but I still have a long way to go. I know it's starting to get sappy but no one else wants to listen to me talk about my love life.  Even though I was always the only one other people could talk to about their shit. Funny how that works out isn't it?
Oh and I hit like 50 - something on my blog views. I hope it's not like the same person about 50 times looking through all my stuff. Or maybe it's my mom. Who knows it's not like I get comments on this noob blog. Anyway I should probably go the fuck to sleep as Samuel Jackson would say. I have a lot going on tomorrow I should be alert and productive. ....
Nah I'm probably going to be on Instagram or Pintrest for a few hours and then go to sleep.

Busy busy miko

So I've been doing a lot of artwork recently. ....

Memorial day

Happy Memorial Day everyone. This is the best lazy day to add to my weekend.  Probably going to do random crap like make another batch of conditioner and paint nails Y'know act like a girl for once. My cats have decided that my bed is their bed and cutie pie is breathing on my forehead.  I think she knows I'm writing about her. The count down to graduation is edging closer and closer. I have about 8 days left until I can say goodbye to hell and start practicing how to be an adult. I'm supposed to actually be winning some type of award tomorrow night. I thought my performance was totally mediocre. But yeah. I'm sort of worried about if I'm going to have enough money for grad night. And my sperm donor of a father is going to be there he still needs to give me money for his tickets so I can get this family travesty over with. But on the bright side Goat man (my boyfriend) I will be able to meet each other's dads for the first time. That should be fun right?

Ugh!

It's difficult being the girlfriend that none of the guys like. Like I barely get along with his brothers and I've tried to get along with his friends but they all think I'm a bitch. They probably think I'm some gossipy bitch that just talks about everyone and rules with an iron clit. It's getting really close to the end of the school year but it couldn't move fast enough. I'm so ready to leave. My friends suck because they're just cunty cunt Cunts. His friends suck because they are a wolf pack without an alpha when he hangs out with me. maybe it's just pms making me feel all icky and sad. That and my dad being a little bitch about having graduation tickets for him and the rest of my delinquent family that doesn't talk to me. That make it seem like they have priority in my life even though it has just been my mom and I struggling by ourselves. He can at least pay for his own fucking tickets.  Everything is so gray and annoying.  I'm nauseous and I'm cramping I've had bubbleguts all morning I'm hungry but not sure what to eat or if to try to put food into my mouth. It's supposed to be spring and it's hella cold outside. And idk why but I'm paranoid that my boyfriend and I won't make it through the summer together.  I mean we've been together for 6 months this month will be our 7th we work really well together even though I cry over things that don't matter. But I have been cursed with the gift of being hyper compatible with Almost everyone so we'll see how this plays out. I really like him and i like how I am with him. But I've gone through friends and crushes and all that sometimes I even have "best friends. " that end up not even having my number anymore.  He is all romantic and hopeful
And I'm all like "the percentage of high school relationships that end in marriage have a low percent of possibility. " and it sucks because I know it's not fair to crush someone else's dreams but it's hard after being hurt by people who you trust and cared about like friends and family so obviously I'm going to have it tough in a romantic relationship.  And this whole nastycoffee thing I'm starting with idk it seems like people were only interested in my art when it was about bands and shit. Now when I try to start something original the only people who like it are people I've known. I want to get out there and see people wearing my clothes and having my artwork on them and being recognized for my work and talent. I wish it was summer.... I just want to go Back to sleep

Help, I need somebody

My boyfriend told me that his grandma wanted me to do an art piece in memoriam for her late husband. I mean it's really cool that I'm being commissioned finally but this is a big deal. Usually it would be something like drawing a mermaid or something cute like kawaii girls and tumblr stuff. Now I'm kind of afraid like I'm going to mess it up because I utterly adored his grandfather so it's difficult.  I am still going to take the commission but I just really hope I can do this right and step put of my own comfort zone to make this happen and do it exceedingly well.

Natural problems

I think my hair texture is changing. It feels less like 3c and more 30 - ish than it has before. Maybe it's because I've been making conditioners or because my hair is growing but it's weird. Maybe it's falling out cause I'm slowly falling apart since I'm stressed out about school. I'm not sure what's going on. I've never had a perm or a relaxer but for years I would straighten the mess out of it with hot irons and straighters. It's been six months since I've used any kind of heat on my hair and I'm debating on whether or not I should straighten it for grad night through graduation. Either way it's been weird.  My mom really wanted me to straighten it. My boyfriend thinks that it's my own choice but I know he prefers my natural hair. So yeah...I want to see what it looks like straightened but I also want to keep my streak going ...maybe I'll figure it out I have a whole week to deal with it. I am not my hair anyways. Well as long as it doesn't fall out of my head.

Shit!

Today was absolute shit. I've been so excited for being so close to graduation and now I'm on pins and needles because of one fucking project. I did the majority of my project like the important parts and my teacher decided to talk to me about shit I can't fix! It's not like she's going to give me the project back and let me fill out what I need. There's no fucking point in being asked why it's the way it is that's not going to fix anything. I have to pass this one fucking class and it's been a pain in the ass this whole time. I might not even be able to walk the stage. I guess I counted my chickens before they hatched cause I have my outfit and everything. It feels like everything is collapsing on me. I'm losing friends like Bobby pins, my mom's depression is getting worse and I might not graduate causing my own clinical anxiety to go berserk. I mean I'm anxious about the future , I'm anxious about my choices, my relationship with people especially my boyfriend.  Everything is too much.  I want to shut out everything. I can't even draw I've been working on a collage again and it seems like it's taking eons to finish it. FUCK why does everything feel like it's out of my hands. I've never felt so helpless than I have this year. Goddammit I just want to go to bed...

Probably late...

Probably gonna be late to school today or just late getting dressed senioritis feels like it's a real disease. My body is in total fatigue my eyes are heavy all I want to do is crawl pathetically back into my bed and tune out the next three days. This is my second week left I have an in class essay on Richard the third and I didn't give half of a fuck when we started reading it. I don't know what to wear and I wish I had better clothes.  I don't want to look at anyone's face or have to talk to anyone. Ahhh this is lame and I'm probably going to be anxious about random shit all day

Art supplies

So the ink pens I was talking about in good news everyone are foray pens alot of people use different types of ink pens some people even use a finer grade like 0.3 (my cat started walking on all the art supplies) anyway I use standard 0.5 for light lines and details and I use 0.7 for really heavily saturated area's in my art I recently got them so they're in the package still.
And i have a slightly different pack that are "assorted. " which just means they have random Colors. The sketch book I use is "acid free white paper" I get it from office depot like the rest of my stuff my mom actually surprised me on Thursday with all this art stuff it was great. It has 75 sheets and it's 12×9 and has this hard plastic covering. Don't let the covers fool you! If you get a cardboard cover it will fall apart just like a paper cover! Won't fade and the smudging is very minimal. I hate smudges so much it's gross I hate it. I like everything to be very tight and clean and nice when I draw which is funny because I'm an absolute slob. And the pencils I use vary from standard 0.7 lead pencils to like hella kawaii Japanese 0.5 pencils or Korean 0.5 pencils.(my kitty cutie pie says "hai" to you guys.)

Good news everyone

Good morning and happy Saturday. I didn't post anything yesterday cause I had this super rad adventure of just running around and being a little stoner. But I am going to be posting new art and fluffing the content on this blog instead of it just being about me I will feature brands and and artists that I admire.  I think I might have said this already but hehe oh well deal with it lol.  Today I'm most likely going to hang out with my boyfriend while he house sits for this couple he knows and we get to babysit their beautiful full bred poodle (he's still not fixed though so he might try to make my boyfriend his bitch again) but that's always fun to watch. I ate a whole bunch of chicken nuggets last night at like 11:00 at night. You know what those chicken nuggets are like the only thing keeping me from going full blown pescotarian (vegetarian that eats fish)
But yeah I got new ink pens and supplies recently too so I'll be uploading some pictures of those so you'll have an idea of either what to use or what to buy your friends who are illustrators

So yesterday. ...

Yesterday I was pumped the whole day that I was going to my future college we're just going to call it "The super cool fashion school". Anyway I get my transcripts which spent way longer than it should because all the stuff in my councilors office decided to go down so I had to walk halfway across campus but before that adventure I sat there for like 15 minutes listening to some girl with her heavy mix of valley meets Mexican voice continue to ramble on about how she wasn't absent on the days she was accused. And then around the end of the day my boyfriend and I planned on driving up to my interview and probably getting in & out on the way back *yum* anyway I call my future councilor for the "super cool fashion school" to tell her I'm running late and she keeps asking me if I want to reschedule cause something like this happened before. And  I said no obviously cause I'm hella pumped to show off my art and talk about the school and she asks if one of my parents is taking me and I was like......no and then she wanted to know who was taking me and I was like my boyfriend. ... and then she went quiet and told me how I needed to bring a parent.  Long story short I didn't go to my interview or in&out. I just went back to his house and worked on an economics project. I think I'm more bummed that I missed out on in&out....
-Jade

Actual artwork

My first two posts are about me being an artist. Anyone who is reading this blog is probably like "there isn't any work". I'm not like some astronomical aspiring tattoo artist or anything I draw cute sassy little doodles that hopefully one day will be worn on someone's shirt. So yeah that's just me. I mean the world of street art has been flooded with talented people putting their art into the world and I'm some girl that sits in the bathroom blogging on her phone while her cats walk in and out of the door way.

The past sucked when it happened

Do you ever miss people who you fell out with and you're like "aww this person was such a great friend. " and then you see something on Instagram or face book that they did or said to you and then you get hit in the face with this automatic riffle full of hate and you're like "this is why we aren't friends because you're a cunt!" I guess the moral is nostalgia is a fucking lie. Don't get caught up in thinking that the past was so great because it was shitty when it happened and it needs to stay behind you where it belongs. There's no sense in being upset over it missing something you amplified in your head.

-jade

close to graduation

So I'm blogging from a class right now but it's no real big deal. I mean it's an art class where nobody really draws...I am sitting here thinking about all these possible outcomes and the future is horrifying to say the least. I mean this whole Internet social media graphic design thing has been booming for the last few years.  Where does that leave me? I mean I know I'm slightly talented but there are so many start up companies and all this shit.  I'm a kid. I guess I should just keep dreaming big right?

- Jade

Hey

Hey I'm jade this is my blog. I'm going to be 18 and this is going to be a platform for me to bounce of creative ideas and rant. Most likely natural hair to family/cat ownership/love life and the hopes of me owning my own brand soon. I will post art frequently if possible that's what this is mainly for. Keep up with other artists and people who have made something out of their talents. The starving artist stereotype is dead you can be an artist and be successful and fed. So if you like my blog and support art and entrepreneurship hopefully you'll support this blog. And maybe even gain some inspiration.
bye-
Jade